Bura mat dekho........

Corporate Hierarchy

SALARY THEORAMS.................

RULES OF MEN (HUSBANDS)

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules:

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1.GIRLS are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that

1.Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1.Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be

1.Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1.Crying is blackmail.

1.Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
JUST SAY IT!

1.‘Yes’ and ‘No’ are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question

1.Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for

1.A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor

1.Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days

1.If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us

1.If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry,
we meant the other one

1.You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done
Not both
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself

1.Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials

1.Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we

1.ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a veggie.
We have no idea what mauve is.

1.If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1.If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle

1.You have enough clothes

1.You have too many shoes

1.I am in shape. Round is a shape.


Thank you for reading this;
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.


Pass this to as many men (Husbands) as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women(Wives) as you can - to give them an education


WITH APOLOGIES TO ALL MY FEMALE FRIENDS

Todays Thought

A kind word spoken can make another's day. A kind word not spoken leaves an empty hole.

LESSONS IN LIFE

# 1
Dont let someone become a priority in your life,
when you are just an option in theirs.
Relationships work best when they are balanced.

# 2
Never Explain yourself to anyone
Because the person who likes you doesnt need it
and the person who dislikes you wont believe it

# 3
When you keep saying you're busy, then you're never free,
When you keep saying you have no time, then you will never have time.
When you keep saying that you'll do it tomorrow, then your tomorrow will never come.

# 4
We make them cry who care for us
We cry for those who never care for us
And we care for those who will never cry for us.

# 5
Dont promise when you are in joy,
Dont promise when you're in sorrow,
Dont take decisions when you're angry
Think twice. Act wise.

# 6
First I was dying to finish high school and start college,
And then I was dying to finish college and start working,
Then I was dying to marry and have children,
And then was dying for my children to grow old enough so I could go back to work,
But then I was dying to retire,
And now I am dying,
And I realised that I completely forgot to live........

Please dont let this happen to you. Appreciate your current situation and enjoy each da

BILL GATES PROBLEMS.....................................HOW TO HANDLE BANTA

Letter from Banta Punjab to Mr. Bill Gates of Microsoft

Subject: Problems with my new computer

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.
2. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friends clicked 'run' he ran up to Amritsar ! So, we request you to change that to 'sit', so that we can click that by sitting.
3. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.
4. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this ' find' button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.
5. My child learn't 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that?
6. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'MY Computer': when you will provide the remaining items?
7. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.
8. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.
9. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?
10. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.

Regards,

Banta Last one to Mr. Bill Gates: Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but u are selling WINDOWS?